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”Later, as he counted the money he found 2O five dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read “Forever hold your peace, I’ll have that other three dollars before sundown.”I once found a throw rug in a catch basin.I bought a dog the other day ... I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who already have been born.What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.What’s dumber than that? Reading them.Even dumber? Reading them and learning something.Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to. .. a runaway... nobody knows he's here... n... well I thoughtthat he'd be just perfect for you. Got him in Ronnie's old room usingthe tapes and all. Give me a couple of months and I guarantee thathe'll be a headliner for you for a long time. Just gotta do somechanges that's all. I have some money, but to do what I think will makehim a great headliner will cost about another ten grand or so... n...and I'd be willing to cut you in for half. If he comes out half as goodas I think he will, you'll have your money back in less than sixmonths." Ten grand is a lot of money baby. How much you puttin' up? Sides, whatmakes you think I need this kid?" Pete, I'm sure he's going to be great. I got about $2,500 cash butthat'll only cover breast implants. I want to do much more like laserhair removal, some plastic surgery and piercings. Doc Fleming can dothe work, but he'll want some serious bread. You know how he is." Yeah, I know Doc, but if the kid needs all that work... well... Idon't know....
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